Almost every guy has broken up with a girl in a note, text or e-mail, making the event a “breakup letter” instead of doing what girls call the “right thing” -- face to face. Most girls find the breakup letter to be rude and cruel.

“If a guy broke up with me in a letter, I would be so mad. I would rather him just be a man and tell me it’s over to my face,” says student Shelby Whitten.

In some cases, it is pretty rude to break up in a letter. But if girls saw things the way guys see them they would totally understand why we do it in the first place.

Most of the time guys break up with girls via some form of breakup letter because they don’t want to hurt a girl by saying it to their faces. With a note, e-mail or even a simple text, it gives us a little time to let you cool off and possibly get all your anger and frustration out without taking it out on us before we have to face you again. The letter gives us a chance to stay out of Dodge for a few days so we don’t get the full effects of the breakup. Crying, hitting and (my personal favorite) acting like they don’t even care about it and being totally immature, can often occur.

The letter could also save a friendship in the process; if you break up face to face, anything can happen. We might say something we regret later. But with the letter, we feel that you’re going to take the break up a little easier and, with time, we could become friends again. That’s one of the main reasons why we breakup with letters in the first place -- not to be jerks, but so you’ll take the breakup differently.

Another benefit of the breakup letter is that it takes away the risk of hearing those dreaded four words: “But, I love you!” These words can mean anything. When we hear them, we start to panic and then get the feeling that we’re trapped because we think you want a commitment that we’re just not ready to make. We’re in high school, which is a time for hooking up and having fun, not feeling stuck. So we break up with you the easiest way we know how. We may have strong feelings for you too but -- let’s face it -- we’re 15 years old. We’re just not ready to be in love. We’re fine with being in “like.”

With the breakup letter, we are not only thinking about ourselves, we’re thinking of you girls too. So the next time we break up with you in a note, e-mail or text, look at it from our perspective and ask yourself: is this really worth making a big deal over or should I just talk to him about why the relationship ended in rational manner? That might even save a friendship and help you understand guys just a little bit more.